Obituary

On finding a live bullet where I walk and live and breathe in East Point, this is my Accidental Death Eulogy (Atlanta)

jen padron

Entrepreneurs from The Yale Collaborative on Social Entrepreneurship encourage me to craft my Obituary.

Know yourself.

Bely the everyday.

How far have you come?

Memorialize where you come from hence.

yosemite

I will leave you then, a discernable gift.

Death hearkens only the dying in glory and quietness shocks only the person whose breath is taken in deep.

Rememberme.

Your morphine and your needles hanging from my forearm kills me not.

Your guns kill me not.

I have known the thrill of Her at least. My arm and my body shake from the electricity coursing through me touching live wire.

She is incomparable and I die for her. Walking the desert step by step, heat dizzying, relentless.

Till the last breath. On bended knee.

Oh yea, mine eyes have seen the glory.

Yes, yes, she said.

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florence

I wonder at the bravery of people in North Carolina who are standing down and not leaving in their voluntary evacuation. 1.5 million people? How the hell? What the hell?

Are we planning on building ocean deep brakers to cut incoming water surges? Imagine the number of lives saved. Property saved.

They’re saying power will be lost for “weeks” and the Mayor of the small town being hit the hardest has an attitude of “get out now and don’t blame me if you…”  I’ve friends on both poles who say, “yeah, right, go dude!” and then Quakerlike peeps who cringe at the assumption of bad will.

Hurricane Florence.

I had originally set out to write a brilliantly woven story or blog about the storm, set in particular people’s lives and how it manifests into multivarious outcomes and climaxes and sad points, if any at all, but here I sit with a fever from the Flu.

And yet, even so, I wonder now about my mortality. Am I dying? At this age. My age.

I have had a good life but a short one. A mere half century and some change. I have yet to walk Machu Picchu and the Great Wall (my mother’s unmet goal), and I’d like to see either the South or North Pole. Leningrad, Moscow, Poland. Train in during winter. See it like Jack Reed and Louise Bryant did before Lenin in ’17.

I want to revisit Bourdeaux where my parents and Florence (my sister) was born in 1960. Visit Alcocer with the thick white walls and cold interior lit by only the wood burning firepits they cook on there. See Toledo and have picnics in the foothills with the cactus and the pine trees and it smells like cedar. Wake up only with light beside Beloved and walk fifty feet for hot crispy oily sweet churro’s to dip and eat with cafe con leche.

I have yet to scale up the webbed care network and health home that is replicable.

I’m too young to die yet. My woman to love. My woman to love me.

Were my sister Florence actually sitting here with me she would be languid and assured, smiling as she cradles a cup of coffee and I would be touched.