I held her with imbecilic force in my arms asleep, laying there in her arms and mine wrapped around her and I was ready for her again. Again. I told her I love you by accident and then filled my words with more to cover it up. That didn’t work either so then she rolled over to face me and we slept f2f and I could breathe her breath and it went on that way for the morning hours until I got up. She left some hours later to the other lover she had in her back pocket. I eventually and finally ate seroquel to drift and numb. She looked good, too, when she left me not sometime after I uttered to her, let yourself out. I turned to quietly walk to the back of the house where an exit held promise. I walked slowly, barefoot and could hear her as she left with the click of a quiet door closing.