calm down

When my mother was dying from cancer in 2008, my dad told me that there were 22 others living on Trailwood Avenue who were positive for some type of cancer concurrently. “There’s a lawsuit,” I told my dad. We were driving and it was warm outside and the air smells like Central California does in the Fall. Fog, basically.  There is no mystery that most probably embedded land subdivisions were watered by wells driven by the local growers and irrigation seepage will occur. Their water is screwed, no less. Now more than ever with the heat that will not stop and wells are drying. People are stealing their neighbor’s water in California.

My mother died in ’08 and my only sibling died from cancer at 53 years old in ’12 (also in November).

And so at my age, I have superseded the mortality for both, my biofamily and that of the <25 year early morbidity for people living with an SPMI who have received continuous US Community Public Mental Health services for at least 25 -30 years.

Which is worse? Cancer or the US Public Community Mental Health System? I’m laughing because I’m really not joking.

This writing’s intent is to at least touch upon the notion of how disease, chronic illnesses and malhealth – when not self-managed or self-cared for – will manifest physically and you will die sooner than later, probably.

Things to practice then:

  • Mindfulness.
  • Intentionality.
  • Carefully discerning that which takes your concern(s).
  • Be Kind to yourself and to others.
  • Love.
  • Be loved.
  • Adore.
  • Be adored.
  • Get that energy of others that is hurtful away from you.
  • Work your body out.
  • Practice Releasing.
  • Live gentler.
  • Walk with all of your senses as often as you can.
  • Get REM Sleep.
  • It’s okay to let yourself dream.
  • Walk in water.
  • Talk with your best friend.
  • Live.
  • Breathe.
  • Learn.
  • Teach.
  • The day is short. The night is shorter. Mind your time.
  • Harm no others.
  • Protect yourself and what’s yours.
  • Run. Run. Run.
  • Strength.
  • Power.
  • Know that you are immortal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

White Privilege Systemic Eradication of the Other

clouds overhead in atlanta sept 1 - Copy

I missed my trauma therapy appointment for the 3rd week in a row today and it’s showing through the cracks of my face, my hands, my mouth, my eyes, my voice… is cracking.

My primary diagnosis nowadays is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and so I wondered that my experienced childhood trauma has been exceeded by the adult trauma experienced living in the US as an out Gender Queer, polarized and profiled resistant, non risk averse woman of color raised on Queer Nation, ACT UP and fuck you bitch, stand beside me or step the fuck aside in yo face since my 20s.

Systemic White Privileged oppression, abuses, discrimination and hatefulness toward eradicating otherness based on race, culture, gender identity and/or presentation, color of skin and reversed discrimination of fair skinned people in a predominantly Black region (Atlanta, Georgia) pisses me off. It pisses me the fuck off, actually.

I often tell people that No, I do not believe in the premise and inherently false US Community Public Mental Health System, nor will I admit Mental Illness exists. The disease versus pussy recovery oriented system of care is the very basis of my work around behavioral health integration, mental diversity, substance use, isolationist first responder mobile crisis intervention (MH/SA) and finally, how I categorically espouse for  US Peer Workforce.

The hate I feel towards me when I walk into a predominantly white or BLACK environment in Atlanta is so thick, I can cut it with a brand new X-Acto Blade and leave marks, cuts of blood so deep it won’t bleed.

I listen to “Penthouse Floor” a lot and will rebel yell Resist, Fight, Fuck You in your face with my co-horts but to be reversed discriminated against because of my Queerness and because I’m not Black puts me into a position of being hated, feared, dismissed. My education, class, verbal upper class White Yankee, nay, Surfer Dude confuses, I admit.

We either work together against the real scourge of hate in 2017 or we don’t.

You can’t bullshit a bullshitter, either.

I dare you to walk your talk. Be transparent. Authentic. Speak your truth.

It’s now or never.

Step up or step aside.

Featured post

christmas 18

29 days until Christmas Eve (again)

28 more sleeps till She is Home (again)

a month of turning, tides, solstice wintering again

She is a soft lovely beauty

i’m taken to her folly and her lands of delight and of dreaming

her left eye is the dreamiest

in the last it was the right

with Her i look East and to the Southerner lands and levees and water

for turtles, for blue fish in aqua waters warm, for Mexico

“Get your passport in case you need to escape,” is no joke

 

 

 

 

Race Relations 101

My voice is silent today. I listen and I discern on the next right steps to take.

I was in The Respect Institute of Georgia from Monday through yesterday.

Graduation is today.

Sitting in this place, then, I give you a poem by a favorite poet Laureate, Mary Oliver:

After Her Death

I am trying to find the lesson
for tomorrow. Matthew something.
Which lectionary? I have not
forgotten the Way, but, a little,
the way to the Way. The trees keep whispering
peace, peace, and the birds
in the shallows are full of the
bodies of small fish and are
content. They open their wings
so easily, and fly. It is still
possible.

I open the book
which the strange, difficult, beautiful church
has given me. To Matthew. Anywhere.

by Mary Oliver

Dog Eat Dog: Peer Cannibalism

betray [bih-trey]

1.    to deliver or expose to an enemy by treachery or disloyalty:

Benedict Arnold betrayed his country.
2.    to be unfaithful in guarding, maintaining, or fulfilling:

to betray a trust.
3.    to disappoint the hopes or expectations of; be disloyal to:

to betray one’s friends.
4.   to reveal or disclose in violation of confidence:

to betray a secret.
5.   to reveal unconsciously (something one would preferably conceal):

6.  to show or exhibit; reveal; disclose: an unfeeling remark that betrays his lack of concern.
7.  to deceive, misguide, or corrupt: a young lawyer betrayed by political ambitions into irreparable folly.

 

___________________________________

trust

This has come to my attention again.

Peer Cannibalism.

Those PEERS who disregard SAMHSA and their State oversight agency’s Certified Peer Specialist core principles, ethics and practice who choose to lie and cause harm to others based on untruths.

Peer Cannibalism.

Those PEERS who will blatantly withhold that which is the truth.

Peer Cannibalism.

Those PEERS who will “stab” you in your back.

Peer Cannibalism.

la-dolce-vita-still-10

(La Dolce Vita Film Still, Federico Fellini )

Peer Cannibalism.

In short and in sum, PEERS are not ALL exceptional angels. We are in the business of behavioral health (MH/SU, ID, DD). We are all for the basis of this blog, psychiatric “survivors” and should hold our basis for doing PEER work sacred.

Cause no harm to others, yourself, your community, your comrades, your friends, your place of employment.

Remember where you came from. Remember why you got into the work which PEERS do.

asylum 28

Powered by WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: