calm down

When my mother was dying from cancer in 2008, my dad told me that there were 22 others living on Trailwood Avenue who were positive for some type of cancer concurrently. “There’s a lawsuit,” I told my dad. We were driving and it was warm outside and the air smells like Central California does in the Fall. Fog, basically.  There is no mystery that most probably embedded land subdivisions were watered by wells driven by the local growers and irrigation seepage will occur. Their water is screwed, no less. Now more than ever with the heat that will not stop and wells are drying. People are stealing their neighbor’s water in California.

My mother died in ’08 and my only sibling died from cancer at 53 years old in ’12 (also in November).

And so at my age, I have superseded the mortality for both, my biofamily and that of the <25 year early morbidity for people living with an SPMI who have received continuous US Community Public Mental Health services for at least 25 -30 years.

Which is worse? Cancer or the US Public Community Mental Health System? I’m laughing because I’m really not joking.

This writing’s intent is to at least touch upon the notion of how disease, chronic illnesses and malhealth – when not self-managed or self-cared for – will manifest physically and you will die sooner than later, probably.

Things to practice then:

  • Mindfulness.
  • Intentionality.
  • Carefully discerning that which takes your concern(s).
  • Be Kind to yourself and to others.
  • Love.
  • Be loved.
  • Adore.
  • Be adored.
  • Get that energy of others that is hurtful away from you.
  • Work your body out.
  • Practice Releasing.
  • Live gentler.
  • Walk with all of your senses as often as you can.
  • Get REM Sleep.
  • It’s okay to let yourself dream.
  • Walk in water.
  • Talk with your best friend.
  • Live.
  • Breathe.
  • Learn.
  • Teach.
  • The day is short. The night is shorter. Mind your time.
  • Harm no others.
  • Protect yourself and what’s yours.
  • Run. Run. Run.
  • Strength.
  • Power.
  • Know that you are immortal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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White Privilege Systemic Eradication of the Other

clouds overhead in atlanta sept 1 - Copy

I missed my trauma therapy appointment for the 3rd week in a row today and it’s showing through the cracks of my face, my hands, my mouth, my eyes, my voice… is cracking.

My primary diagnosis nowadays is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and so I wondered that my experienced childhood trauma has been exceeded by the adult trauma experienced living in the US as an out Gender Queer, polarized and profiled resistant, non risk averse woman of color raised on Queer Nation, ACT UP and fuck you bitch, stand beside me or step the fuck aside in yo face since my 20s.

Systemic White Privileged oppression, abuses, discrimination and hatefulness toward eradicating otherness based on race, culture, gender identity and/or presentation, color of skin and reversed discrimination of fair skinned people in a predominantly Black region (Atlanta, Georgia) pisses me off. It pisses me the fuck off, actually.

I often tell people that No, I do not believe in the premise and inherently false US Community Public Mental Health System, nor will I admit Mental Illness exists. The disease versus pussy recovery oriented system of care is the very basis of my work around behavioral health integration, mental diversity, substance use, isolationist first responder mobile crisis intervention (MH/SA) and finally, how I categorically espouse for  US Peer Workforce.

The hate I feel towards me when I walk into a predominantly white or BLACK environment in Atlanta is so thick, I can cut it with a brand new X-Acto Blade and leave marks, cuts of blood so deep it won’t bleed.

I listen to “Penthouse Floor” a lot and will rebel yell Resist, Fight, Fuck You in your face with my co-horts but to be reversed discriminated against because of my Queerness and because I’m not Black puts me into a position of being hated, feared, dismissed. My education, class, verbal upper class White Yankee, nay, Surfer Dude confuses, I admit.

We either work together against the real scourge of hate in 2017 or we don’t.

You can’t bullshit a bullshitter, either.

I dare you to walk your talk. Be transparent. Authentic. Speak your truth.

It’s now or never.

Step up or step aside.

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Honestly, Now

During the course of my day, I speak with quite a few people, organizations and states here in the US about our mutual work in Peer Supports.

It’s important to me to remain authentic, transparent and true to fact.

I’ve been working in a CPS/Peer Supports point of contact for 10 years.

I know the course well. I know the national community well: The point of contacts for the burgeoning US Peer Workforce, the movers and shakers, the Leadership and I capitalize “L” out of respect.

Yes, SAMHSA/CMHS, BRSS TAC1 and BRSS TAC2, the US national technical training and assistance centers, the US consumer network technical training centers, the innovative emergent lead model houses (e.g., IPS, ECPR, MHFA, Dialogic, WRAP, WHAM) are all familiar to me and I can and do distinctly support our collaborative community of providers with Klein, Padron & Associates regionally and nationally.

What I have learned is that without a clear “Moral Code” my work would be akin to that of a hobbyist or a hack, slacker, flake.

We’re all Go. Be truthful with yourself and others.

Your Moral Code depends upon your character and intention. Act clearly and with kind intention. Trust is the fabric which will hold you to me and me to you in this work. Harm no one in the course of the day. Know that there are people, Peers, whose dipping into Peer Cannibalistic means of behavior and treatment of themselves and others exists. Beware and I encourage you to take the higher road and know everything shakes out in the end.

What I tell you in confidence is given fiercely, in trust, in confidence. Do not betray personal nor professional confidence with a caveat. Be true to yourself. Be true with others.

The rewards to come are fruit bearing and this Springtime, let’s continue to move forward and work mutually. Those of you who are trained Certified Peer Specialists, Community Health Workers, Recovery Coaches, Forensic Peer Trained and hold endorsements to the CPS understand that you are bound inherently and truthfully to your US State CPS and National Ethics, Codes and Values. This binds our profession and our work. Without a strong moral code you’ve nothing, truly.

So, Step Up.

Stop if/when you’ve nothing of value to say and especially when decrying betray of information which is held in confidence and for which you are taken in as a “Friend” and “Colleague.” Everything always, always, ALWAYS comes back to the source. You are found out. The consequences are rather high.

Be a good friend to me, to others. Maintain your attention to truth seeking. Glean the truths in a higher manner. Know your truth and speak it well.

Peerpocalypse 2017

Cannon Beach in April sounds like a pretty fab place to be. The beach. Walking on the brown sand, waiting and holding my beloved’s hand. Photo op with a kite to match the one KZ has from the Seattle years.

Klein, Padron & Associates will present on varying financial business models to sustain a Peer workforce at the Mental Health America of Oregon’s Peerpocalypse2017 in Seaside, Oregon April 24-26, 2017.

For more information please look at https://www.peerpocalypse.com/.

 

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