on being immortal

the clusterfuck on another sunday long, long, long ago placed me here right now.

I’ve had beautiful women around me keeping me company because I like beautiful women. They are by far and large, all sexy. I look at their hands and then their eyes and back at their mouths. Hot. I tallied the number of women I’ve dated since the debacle of the Jen Heart Day | 2019 and I’m in the <20-50 numbers so far. I can’t quite make my mind up on this current one. I like her but last night’s malattempt at a kiss goodnight ranged anywhere from my first ever kiss… ever. It was horrible. Awkward and I left nearly immediately thinking, omg, what the fuck was that. What am I turning into? Dating is strange to me. One woman told me flat out, “I want to wake up with my legs around my lover and be in love and fuck and have sex and make love with just her.” I thought to myself, mmmmmm, yeah, that’d be nice. I miss her. I feel her energetically sometimes and this past Friday night through daylight was miserably hard and lovely too.

peerpocalypse 2018 | seaside, oregon

I am so full of myself as to write an open letter to them all. all of the women and in my best smile, it does ring true. it may not make any sense, but i promise goodness, lofty visions of sweaty limbs and body parts stuck to other body parts and slow kisses on sunday mornings at the real ghosting hour.

dearest lovely where are you beloved be here

xox

it had to be you

I sit staring out of my study window
orange greens browns golds brown pine needles everywhere
no women to be seen
my lover of 4 years nearly 5
gone to follow fishwrap
that fishwrap, the cute little screamer
gone too
and the stoic spartan warrior woman
“I don’t know how to respond to you anymore” corporate junkie 80 hr week
slave to retirement
a daughter looking at NYU graduate studies
work you do. baby.
I think of the other one, the new one, a lot still.
golden aired surprise
I wonder
I wonder
I grit my teeth

 

 

 

georgia

Emily King – Georgia Lyrics
Artist: Emily King
Album: The Seven EP

I was not ready
The day you gave me your heart
I was still falling apart

But since that moment
I can’t stop hearing your name
Wondering about you always

Come back Georgia come back
Come back Georgia come back
I just need another chance
Chance to make it better

Chorus:
Come back Georgia come back
Come back Georgia come back
I just need another chance
Chance to make it better

I was unhappy
The day you left out my door
I was just feeling unsure
So long I’ve missed you
Now I can honestly say
I’m ready to love you always

Chorus: (x2)
Come back Georgia come back
Come back Georgia come back
I just need another chance
Chance to make it better

Oh to think that you would be
Resting in my arms
How I wish I knew
Georgia where you are?
I can’t be without you
Georgia oh

Chorus: (x2)
Come back Georgia come back
Come back Georgia come back
I just need another chance
Chance to make it better

mine own hands

She came on like gangbusters
starfire melding in me
disintegrated as fast
as suddenly
hands
mouth
a wincing smile
her clear clear clear
blue eyes
doubled no coupling
leaving a remarkable knowing
           she’s gone
i fell in love with that look
all over
all over
all over
empty this time
mine own hands left open
wet from fall rain

 

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